Is a girl born only to be a wife of a dominating man and not born as a daughter? Why is it that a lady has to bear all the social pressures and change her surname or add another surname? Aren’t we living in midst of irony when on one hand we are yelling women empowerment and gender equality and on the other hand we are practicing such acts?
Indian marriages are very colorful, starting from the mehendi in the palm of the bride to the glittery reception ceremony. A bride is welcomed to her new home in midst of lot of celebrations and colors, but this color and charm doesn’t stay for too long. Her husband and In-laws start asking her about when she is going to change her surname. Most of the times this goes unopposed as the girl has been raised with a mentality that changing her father’s surname and adapting to her husband surname is very natural and essential. These are issues that need to be thought and opposed.
A girl should have the freedom to continue with her father’s surname. We men are concerned about our machismo. We are not acting as real men when we ask the lady of our life to change her surname and add ours only to go along with the pre-existent social norms. We are exhibiting our masculinity only when we are asking her to keep her surname leading a happy life.
Indian culture has always been discussed and appreciated for the respect of its women. We have always placed women at the par with God and have always worshiped them as Goddess. After keeping them on the same par with women, we demonstrate our respect towards them. Then why to destroy the respect within us for them by asking them to adopt our family name and give up theirs? Indian culture has always highlighted respect for women.
We have been opposing pre-existent social norms like inter-religion marriage and inter-caste marriage. We have always been terming them as unethical. Haven’t we missed something else on the list? Changing of surname isn’t of the same quantum and same religion marriage but is also not so petite that it can be let go unnoticed. We must bring the change and start it from ourselves. We mustn’t ask the new bride in our family to change her surname. If and only if we step a foot to bring the change and the society realizes its need, sooner it shall become the trend.